dggeoff:

dggeoff:

my family got me a vibrating toothbrush that i can most definitely use to masturbate and finally get off gdi but the only problem here is that it’s got mike wasowskis face on it and i don’t know if im ready for that level of commitment

i did it. i did it and i hate myself.

do you?
Anonymous

bombing:

she glanced up at me from her textbook. 
"do i what?" 

i cleared my throat. god she was beautiful. i couldn’t think
"do you…" 

she cocked her head slightly to the left, confusion and perfection warring in perfect harmony across her features. the dust danced in the air, brought to center stage as sunlight shone through the open window of the library we were in. 

"do you…need help with that?" the words didn’t leave my mouth so much as they were pushed out, sudden and forced. i winced. 

she pointed to her textbook. 
"you’re really willing to help me on this?" 

i shrugged. 
"you looked confused."

"that’s the understatement of the century," she groaned. "this might as well be in another language." 

"well i could help translate." 
she raised her eyebrows. 
"….if you want." i finished 

suddenly she laughed. “i’d love that. but not here. how’s my place sound?”

i couldn’t believe this was happening. 
"great. your place sounds great." 

"good." she beamed. "i can’t wait to get out of here. i hate the library."

i couldn’t help but laugh. “yeah and i hate breathing.” 

"i’m serious," she continued. "i can’t stand books." 

or at least that’s what i thought she said. by that time i was already out the door. i’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life but i wasn’t about to date a girl who didn’t read

smallmareep:

calliedope:

God is a woman and I;m going to fuck her

image

magicaldeductions:

goddammit bill

blueskyesandberets:

Existential Crisis by Julia Lepitet

This is one of the things that cheered me up today. :’)

shaqinfrozen:

These frames do feature Shaquille O’Neal

wiki-the-avatartimelord:

HE DOESN’T EVEN LOOK ASHAMEDHE’S JUST LIKEYEA, THAT’S ME, I DO THAT

wiki-the-avatartimelord:

HE DOESN’T EVEN LOOK ASHAMED

HE’S JUST LIKE
YEA, THAT’S ME, I DO THAT

maromoroney:

shoutout to thearcflash for not noticing that oreimo was about incest the whole time until like the last episode where its painfully obvious

I didn’t think it was actually gonna happen ;~;

Claris - Irony

kisaragiattention:

ClariS | Irony